Shifting perspective from I deserve this to I have become ready to have this.
Many times we hear people respond to the success or the small wins in the life of others by saying something like “You deserve this” or “It’s about time”. Someone gets a promotion. Someone finally finds a fulfilling relationship. They deserved it after seeing their struggles in the past. This observation feels good when we are the ones hearing it. It validates our victory or joy and our getting something good in our lives.
But it also frames it in a way that implies that we just somehow received some new status or new gift immediately. Poof. It just appeared and that’s the end of that. We are now this new thing. It was granted to us.
However, we did not just get bestowed some new gift or skill magically. We were not granted anything. We had to do something to get it. We had to achieve something. We had to prove that we knew a set of facts or have a skill set that enabled us to do new things. Or we had to somehow attract this new set of circumstances or people.
We don’t deserve it. We have to earn it in one way or another. Energy must be expended and wisdom gained in order to receive this new gift. We had to change our behavior and actions to get there.
When we think of earning success or something in our lives we need to recognize this concept that we have done the work, we have made the change, we have learned the skill, we have stopped certain negative behaviors, we have GROWN.
So instead of thinking that we are deserving of something think about it as having become ready to accept something. This perspective brings the understanding of the energy expended to get there as well as the acceptance of the new responsibilities of being there and staying there. It gives it a true value in our life.
This locks in our minds that there will be future energy expended to keep our new gift and responsibilities involved with maintaining our new gift, whether it is a job or a new relationship or a new car.
This helps us to not take this good new thing in our lives for granted. We attach the energy of what we had to do to get it AND the acceptance of the energy we will need to expend to KEEP it firmly locked in our minds.